A comment from a reader named “Redlight” has made an important point about the distinction I’ve long made between loneliness and aloneness. Whern you stop trying to be with people because you “should” be with them–because, say, they’re eligible, or have good credentials, you may find yourself alone for some time. But during that time, …
Q: What about 60-year-olds, do they fall in love? –A Booming Baby Boomer A: Dear Booming Boomer, Oh heavens! Do they ever! According to U.S. Census data, there are now 90-million unmarried adults–making single people, not married ones, the country’s new majority. Being single is now the most widely shared experience of adulthood! And what …
A friend calls to say she’s dating a man who’s not separated, not divorced, but single. He hasn’t had a serious girlfriend in years, and by all external criteria, he’s an ambulatory, unattached, employed, attractive man—“a catch,” she was told by the man who introduced them– who happens to be available. “Great!” I say. …
Q: I’m 41 and have been married and divorced, and want to find love again. I’ve always liked lots of people around me, and am a good, easy hostess. But I’ve gotten so used to “hanging out” that I no longer know how to make it clear that I’m not feeling as casual about my …
My dear earthly nymphs, you kind and warmhearted lovers, the reason I've spent so much time of late talking about separated men and divorced men–even though you're all grownups who no doubt have been separated or divorced yourselves– is simply that I've been around a long time and know how it works. When the …
"Appetite, a universal wolf." –William Shakespeare Read More »
Q: The guy I’m going with is really out there: He’s wonderful, and he’s smart, and he’s fun–but he’s not what I had in mind. I can’t make the two–my vision and the reality–jibe. Is this common? A: Yes. Very common. Your vision comes from centuries of implanted ideas, received wisdom not only about men …
“Okay, Love Goddess,” you say. “My new guy is NOT simply separated from his wife….he’s divorced from her! So you can’t tell me not to go out with him!” Are you sure that he’s divorced? Or were those papers he says he signed separation papers—meaning his divorce (and those papers) could be a year …
Another thing to think about re: the Separated Man (you should know by now that I rarely blog only once on a subject!): He may well want back into the marriage he's separated from. In fact, he most likely DOES want back in, given statistics on the subject. (More women than men leave marriages; if …
This Goddess does not talk about Love in the same sentence as separated men. Not that I have anything against separated men outside the context of Love–after all, people separate before they get divorced. What I have against them IN the context of Love is that if they're not divorced yet, they're not remotely ready …
Q: I’m a successful woman, but can’t find a guy who doesn’t resent my success! What’s up? –Karen A: Dear Karen, Ah, yes, ambivalence! A man may love your success, but resent the dramatic social changes that allow you to ask new things of him. Like, that he be available on your terms (when women …
