I’ve been called a relationship “expert” because of my focus, throughout my career, on intimate relationships. That includes our deep relationship with our pets. Studies show that when a beloved companion animal dies, a surprising number of us grieve intensely…more so, even, than when a friend or relative dies!

Society doesn’t deal well with pet grief. It doesn’t deal well with any grief, offering us one meager year, after which we’re to “move on,” ready or not. Many grief-stricken people who have lost their adored cat, dog, or parrot feel embarrassed by their pain and don’t get help; and when a friend says, “Hey, sorry about your dog; why don’t you go get a new one? ”, they despair of ever being understood. This is why we refer to pet-loss grief as “disenfranchised” grief: Because the griever is so often made to feel shame over the intensity of his or her feeling about this most important relationship.