In a new relationship, and maybe even in a not-so-new one, the person less dependent on the other, less in love, perhaps–holds the power. One way the least interested wields power is simply by refusing to become more interested. To wit: A study I set up featuring a youngish couple I was seeing for therapy, one in …
The One Who Can Walk, Wins: The Power of the Least Interested, Part 7 Read More »
I hear about it every day: The high-achieving woman and the man who is attracted to her.
Jane came to me two months ago, fragile and beleaguered, just after the end of a grueling divorce. She didn’t want love help, she wanted self-love help. Her skin was blotchy and broken out, her weight high; her self-esteem shot. Her deeply held notions about the importance of aging naturally had become, she said, “a …
"I'm Getting Divorced and I Look Exhausted…Help!" Read More »
Q. Dear Goddess: My husband never remembers our anniversary. Usually, since it means a lot to me, I remind him of it–not to collect a present, but so we can do something fun. But I’m tired of reminding him. I feel like I’m controlling him. Why can’t he remember?” –Perennially Disappointed A. Dear Disappointed Earth …
Q. Dear Goddess: How do I know if a man, whom I love but feel uncomfortable with much of the time, is wrong for me? –Weirded out A. Dear Weirded Out: You know by analyzing this discomfort. Not in your head, but in your heart and in your body. My rule of thumb: If a …
Q. Dear Goddess: My boyfriend of three months and I have fallen into a pattern. I ask him for sex and he says his back hurts, or he’s tired or, well, something…
So, I know I’m not the first blogger out here to rave about Julia Child (thank you, Julie Powell!) and I know it’s all the rage to eat like Julia…but just this once, okay? And, as many of us really want to eat as Julia wanted us to, but also want to keeping our stomachs …
Q.:. Dear Goddess: I keep going out with men who look great, have good jobs, etc., but who are really, really strange once they’re in a relationship. I KNOW this is the men I’m choosing and not all men….but is there a way of spotting these guys? –Miserable A. Dear Miserable: Spotting men unfit for human …
The discovery that Bernie Madoff was having a 20-year affair shocked many people. I’m not sure I understand why. Here’s a guy who lied to and cheated everyone for decades. What makes us think he wouldn’t lie to and cheat his wife of fifty years? What fantasy is THAT on our parts? I guess it …
Women often ask me how to assess a new lover–what questions to ask whose answers will reveal important information about this man. Well you know my answer to this: How he behaves is your answer. But for the impatient among you, there’s one question I’ve found to be revealing: “How did your family express affection?” Many possible answers will …
