Q: The guy I’m going with is really out there: He’s wonderful, and he’s smart, and he’s fun–but he’s not what I had in mind. I can’t make the two–my vision and the reality–jibe. Is this common? A: Yes. Very common. Your vision comes from centuries of implanted ideas, received wisdom not only about men …
“Okay, Love Goddess,” you say. “My new guy is NOT simply separated from his wife….he’s divorced from her! So you can’t tell me not to go out with him!” Are you sure that he’s divorced? Or were those papers he says he signed separation papers—meaning his divorce (and those papers) could be a year …
Another thing to think about re: the Separated Man (you should know by now that I rarely blog only once on a subject!): He may well want back into the marriage he's separated from. In fact, he most likely DOES want back in, given statistics on the subject. (More women than men leave marriages; if …
This Goddess does not talk about Love in the same sentence as separated men. Not that I have anything against separated men outside the context of Love–after all, people separate before they get divorced. What I have against them IN the context of Love is that if they're not divorced yet, they're not remotely ready …
Q: I’m a successful woman, but can’t find a guy who doesn’t resent my success! What’s up? –Karen A: Dear Karen, Ah, yes, ambivalence! A man may love your success, but resent the dramatic social changes that allow you to ask new things of him. Like, that he be available on your terms (when women …
As much attention as I've paid to what you should say in your profile, women have been telling me recently that some men pay no attention at all, anyway. "They like my picture and that's as far as they looked," one woman tells me. "I might as well have written the rest in Greek for …
Does He Want to Know You–or Snow You?: When Your Profile Gets Ignored Read More »
I've talked about (and will no doubt talk MORE about after today) the two parts of a profile–the self-presentation (the sales pitch) and the request (whom you'd like to meet). The two parts should have the same feel and tone, since you're telling a story about you and the kind of people you like. …
Q: I’ve been hooking up and hanging out for so long I don’t know if I’m capable of a committed relationship, and at 26, it embarrasses me. Am I doomed to sleep around forever? –JamesA: Dear James, A: Only if you keep hooking up and hanging out. It’s all lifestyle, after all, and lifestyle is …
For every woman who has had success meeting someone lovely online, dozens don't–not because the men are so treacherous out there, but because, sometimes, online "meeting" requires wildly different skills from meeting someone at, say, a dinner party–and the advertising process simply fizzles. Sexy as online copy pretends to be, dating sites are …
DATING AGAIN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? The (gasp!) online profile problem Read More »
Q: My boyfriend is always trying to change something about me. He says it all lovingly, and as if I’ll be happier if I make the changes, but it’s constant. I want to please him, but he seems to have a vision of someone else in his head. What’s up? A: It could be several …
