As much attention as I've paid to what you should say in your profile, women have been telling me recently that some men pay no attention at all, anyway. "They like my picture and that's as far as they looked," one woman tells me. "I might as well have written the rest in Greek for …
Does He Want to Know You–or Snow You?: When Your Profile Gets Ignored Read More »
I've talked about (and will no doubt talk MORE about after today) the two parts of a profile–the self-presentation (the sales pitch) and the request (whom you'd like to meet). The two parts should have the same feel and tone, since you're telling a story about you and the kind of people you like. …
Q: I’ve been hooking up and hanging out for so long I don’t know if I’m capable of a committed relationship, and at 26, it embarrasses me. Am I doomed to sleep around forever? –JamesA: Dear James, A: Only if you keep hooking up and hanging out. It’s all lifestyle, after all, and lifestyle is …
For every woman who has had success meeting someone lovely online, dozens don't–not because the men are so treacherous out there, but because, sometimes, online "meeting" requires wildly different skills from meeting someone at, say, a dinner party–and the advertising process simply fizzles. Sexy as online copy pretends to be, dating sites are …
DATING AGAIN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? The (gasp!) online profile problem Read More »
Q: My boyfriend is always trying to change something about me. He says it all lovingly, and as if I’ll be happier if I make the changes, but it’s constant. I want to please him, but he seems to have a vision of someone else in his head. What’s up? A: It could be several …
We're talking once again about the old saw that couples must keep the "spark" in relationships. In fact, the idea of infusing "spark" into a relationship only makes me celestially anxious. It's as if we're supposed to reinvent a comfortable relationship into one that has an "edge"–or one, rather, that once had us on edge. …
Putting The "Spark" Back in a Relationship….part 2 Read More »
Yesterday I heard it again: someone speaking about her marriage as "boring." My first instinct when I hear this about marriage and boredom is always to wonder if the couple has stopped talking. For I've long found that when talk goes, sex often follows. (Sex is, after all, a conversational connection, using bodies …
Two more alerts for those of you going online, perhaps for the first time, to enter or re-enter the world of dating. We've covered some of the bad-news responses, but here are a few more. Bad grammar—I mean, really bad grammar, particularly in a person's profile (where, presumably, he or she is less likely …
Today we're back to online dating alerts: Today's Be Careful! is of anyone who tries to sweep you off your feet in an online dating profile. “Do you like to spend Christmas Eve overlooking the Seine? Do you long for a ski trip to The Little Nell? Is Nobu the kind of restaurant you’d most like …
The New York Times today reports a list of "money disorders" burgeoning as we find ourselves reeling from the economic news. Overspending is rampant, but so, apparently, are other "problem financial behaviors," like, it says here, underspending (hoarding, as if we were in a depression); serial borrowing (we all know what that is), financial enabling …
