Q. Dear Goddess: I’m sick to death of dating. It’s become a major pain, and a huge chore, and I’d rather do pretty much anything else in the world right now than go to Starbucks one more time to meet someone I’ve exchanged ten sane e-mails with only to find out he’s emphatically wrong for me. But I want a boyfriend. What do I do?
A. Dear Earth Girl: Take a break. Dating IS hard work, and like all voluntary chores, you have to be up for it. You wouldn’t start cleaning your closet if you’d just cleaned your cellar and your attic; you’d stop cleaning for a couple of weeks. Do the same here: give it a rest. (You wouldn’t recognize a romantic possibility in this frame of mind anyway, so why not go out with your real buddies for a month or two? You’re not in a hurry, despite what that innter voice tells you.) Just tell your internet contacts (if indeed they are pushing to meet you) that you’re working on an important project and can’t meet for awhile. Just take the pressure off yourself until the prospect of another coffee date feels like a tiny bit of fun.
Here’s the thing: With 100 million people now single in the United States, you don’t have to buy into the idea that there’s only one guy out there for you and that you have to find him this second. There are hundreds of possibilities….and you’ll be in the mood, one day soon, to meet some of them.
