From The Goddess’s good friend Michael Steinberg, who reports this morning, after reading The New York Times, from his world of online dating:
“It has become a daily pleasure to open The New York Times, turn to the obituaries, and see how many of the women with whom computer dating services have matched me are–shall we say–no longer “active.” Guesswork is required here, since in e-dating (which would be greatly helped by carbon dating) the names have been changed. The ages have been changed. The pictures posted would not be identifiable to the children of the posters. The profiles, if men read them, have probably been equally surgically altered.”
(Hmmm. Do women change that much about themselves when they go to Match or eHarmony? (“Duh, YES, Goddess!”) Do men, too? (“Mmmmhmmm.”) And do men really not notice profiles? More on that later. Meanwhile, back to Michael.)
“Newspaper circulation, “ he continues, “would probably go up (or not down–since we are those still reading newspapers) if obits included journalist-vetted, cyber-significant information such as pseudonyms and pseudo-ages. ‘Jane Smith (aka “kittenwithawit), 76 (aka 59)….’ I would find this useful news.
“Women, I’m sure, would want this information as well. And, since they DO bother to read and DO choose to believe the profiles, additional fact checks could be: “John Smith (aka “studmuffin69), 68 (aka 62), Married (aka Divorced), Manufacturer (license plates), with interests in fine arts, reading and travel (aka pornography, pornography, Asian pornography….”
Do I need to point out what Michael is saying–that everyone dating online has become horrified at the discrepancy between the printed profile and photos, and the person they meet?
More to the point, anyone who wants to date Michael—and who wouldn’t?—should first realize that he doesn’t like dating. Then, that he likes grown-up, interesting, witty women. He’d never say this next thing because he’s too much of a real person, but the Goddess knows and will say so–she should be lovely, in spirit and in appearance. He doesn’t care much about age. So long as he doesn’t get attached and then, next morning, see her name in the obits.
