Q. Dear Goddess:
A man I really liked, who told me after our first date that he’d call, didn’t call. So I called him. He said he was glad to hear from me, and that he’d been meaning to call me but had been swamped with work, and asked if we could see each other. I said yes–but we didn’t actually make a date. Shall I call to make one? –Eager
A. Dearest darling kind-hearted and brave Eager:
No, no, a thousand, no zillion, times no! What is it about his NOT calling that makes you think he wants to see you? He said he’d call–and didn’t. He said he wanted to see you–and didn’t arrange anything. What am I missing here, except your generous (but stubborn?) insistence that he’s too busy to get what he wants? What man do you know who doesn’t go out and get what he wants??? Let me reiterate– in case some kind of denial in you isn’t hearing me correctly or thinks I’ve misunderstood how busy he is: Do not call this man again. He is doing precisely what he wants to do and whatever he says under duress (e.g., when you call him) is a lie. There is nothing clearer than No Phone Call from a man. It means a No Date with him. Period!
Move on, dear Eager!
