Q. Dear Goddess: My lover, who is a widower, is in his late 40s. This weekend, we’re visiting his 25-year-old son, Bob, whom I’ve not yet met, and spending the night at his home. Bob is a born-again Christian, and we wonder whether we’ll be able to sleep in the same bed in his home. We feel we’re too old to dissemble, but don’t want to make a political point, either. What do you think? –Worried
A. Dear Worried: You’re right not wanting to make a political issue out of your relationship with Bob’s dad. This is strictly a matter etiquette: You should accept the accommodations offered by your host. If Bob plunks your belongings in different rooms, accept his decision graciously (and repeat after me, “When in Rome…..”). It’s clearly not a question of whether your friend’s son knows you’re sleeping together, but rather, that in his home, this is how he wants to house his widowed dad and new girlfriend.
Now if you’re asked, dearest earth girl, then that’s a different story. “We’d like to stay in the same room, if possible,” you can say. AndI suspect he’ll honor that. If he shows signs of discomfort, just accept that it’s NOT possible. You can make it through the night, this once, in separate bedrooms.
