Comments on: When His Fantasies Include–And Exclude–You http://wordpress.dalmaheyn.com/2009/02/15/my-husband-wants-to-sleep-with-others-shall-i-let-him/ Dalma Heyn - Psychotherapist & Pet Loss Grief Counselor Tue, 13 Jul 2021 19:40:14 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 By: The Love Goddess http://wordpress.dalmaheyn.com/2009/02/15/my-husband-wants-to-sleep-with-others-shall-i-let-him/#comment-57 Tue, 17 Feb 2009 15:18:31 +0000 http://blog.thelovegoddess.com.s60578.gridserver.com/?p=118#comment-57 How did a Love Goddess get so lucky as to have such smart , thoughtful, wise readers? And guess what, IDubious, I’m taking your idea (that a husband must enter a divorce agreement before entering someone else) straight to the Heavens. Jove will get a kick out of it. Prepare for thunder tonight.

]]> By: IDubious http://wordpress.dalmaheyn.com/2009/02/15/my-husband-wants-to-sleep-with-others-shall-i-let-him/#comment-56 Tue, 17 Feb 2009 12:51:56 +0000 http://blog.thelovegoddess.com.s60578.gridserver.com/?p=118#comment-56 These are hard economic times.

Traditionally, amorality resided in the upper classes (as an entitlement) and the lower classes (nothing to lose). For the past decade–thanks to the housing bubble–fortunes have skyrocketed. But today –thanks to the bursting of that bubble–captains of industry have been cashiered from their high ranks. Fortunes and their concomitant moralities spinning out of control.

The one control that has been there for those in between–and may the gods forgive me for this suggestion–the former netherworld scavengers of home equities–divorce lawyers.. So, before your husband enters someone else, he must first enter a divorce settlement agreement. There, now everyone has access to prophylactic protection.

]]> By: Pinkcats46 http://wordpress.dalmaheyn.com/2009/02/15/my-husband-wants-to-sleep-with-others-shall-i-let-him/#comment-55 Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:06:24 +0000 http://blog.thelovegoddess.com.s60578.gridserver.com/?p=118#comment-55 I have to agree with you, TLG! I would never agree to that kind of relationship if my husband asked that of me. Aside from the fact that I feel a personal connection with my husband, what if the unforseen happened? What if this little adventure takes a turn I didn’t expect? Like me seeing my husband with someone else and that someone else enjoying it? Hummm….Don’t think it would be so fun anymore. That leads me to my next question….What if she didn’t? What if she didn’t like my husband? I’d feel offended, after all, that’s MY husband!! I have feelings for him.

The bottom line for me is this: I can’t enjoy sex with just anyone. For me, it’s emply. Sex has no meaning without feelings.

Does anyone else have another slant on this?

]]> By: Winsomewaves http://wordpress.dalmaheyn.com/2009/02/15/my-husband-wants-to-sleep-with-others-shall-i-let-him/#comment-54 Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:38:58 +0000 http://blog.thelovegoddess.com.s60578.gridserver.com/?p=118#comment-54 Isn’t this the age-old story of man’s wanting his cake and eating it, too? Isn’t this “need” or “ fantasy”, just a mid-life crisis in disguise? Isn’t it just selfishness and self-centeredness?

I don’t understand why a husband would offer that option to his wife. Where’s the love? What is the point? What good comes from it? What is he thinking?…Maybe that is the point; he’s NOT!!!!!

And I don’t understand why a wife would even consider such an option if her marriage was sacred…it had been based on trust and mutual love. Even if it hadn’t been, why does the husband want to stay married?

Staying committed to an adulterer, no and when he introduces something that challenges the foundation of their union.

If one introduces smoking, drugs, crimes, adultery, promiscuity, unfaithfulness to any kind of relationship, then it is up to the individual to make a decision whether or not she can live true to her heart without feeling she has lost her values and her sense of self-worth. A strong woman would not entertain the idea; she would question the relationship and it’s direction

I don’t think saving the marriage will happen just by rejecting such an offer. There are more root problems here than just a husband’s wanting to fulfill his fantasies and seeking couples therapy is one avenue for discovering what is going on.

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