By: The Love Goddess

The Love Goddess — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:30:29 +0000

Dear Winsomewaves,
Your plea to make love a priority in our lives–no, not A priority but THE priority–is one that the Love Goddess was born to expedite in the galaxy and to encourage right here on this planet. Earthly lovers, perhaps because fear has been their strictest teacher, grow up feeling that love “just happens” between two people, and that, with a little “work”, it can even last–as if it’s all a matter of good luck and after that, well, good luck. Devotion, historically, is directed away from physical love as though it were somehow not worthy. Those of us who understand how love can work know that it is THE priority–and FUN priority, not a WORK priority, at that. I think the Reverend’s intent to shake up his flock with a prescription for more sex is at least opening the door for people to say, “This is great! Our pastor approves! Now let’s learn more about it, and about each other, and keep it up.” It’s only a beginning, but a better one than the notion, idealized in many churches, that abstinence is the priority! And that sex education, sexual involvement and sexual focus are wrong.
It will please you to know that the Love Goddess once conducted a survey in a magazine that asked people why they got married. The ones who said they got married “to have fun” were the ones who, years later, had the most fun together. They continued–as you implicitly suggest–to make “fun” (and sex is, after all, adult play) their number-one priority.
How about that for good news!

TLG

By: Winsomewaves

Winsomewaves — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 21:20:27 +0000

Dear TLG
Texas’ Reverend Young’s call for his parish’s married members to commit to “daily sex” for a week felt like an encouraging sign to dissolve the division between church and state of sexuality in our country. Though the media reporting on this “Sex Challenge” was little more than “politically correct” coverage, it did awaken and address an issue that has too long been cloaked and daggered. While memories of Nancy Reagan’s idealistic “Just Say No” anti-drug campaign, the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” gay protection policy, and the late 1960’s “Make Love, Not War” slogan still resound, this new challenge felt a little like “Just say, Yes” – another good-intentioned, packaged, yet superficial slogan.
Maybe with positive change in the air over the last few months, dialogue on this topic may soon inveigle and capture as many headlines as the economy, energy and environment crisis. If we as a society were ever to focus on more loving and truly compassionate human development, other more inspiring and hopeful headlines might dominate our news. After all, most loving and conscious couples (married or not; heterosexual or not) know that we cannot love others until we love ourselves (as a people and as a nation!) How can we evolve, much less survive, if we don’t start making some changes in the way we think, talk, act and behave towards our fellow man. Maybe the idea of “making love” daily could open some hearts, bodies and souls so we can better understand our direction, destiny and purpose as a people,
Why is it that our priorities frequently diminish our sexual desire? Separately and cumulatively money, children, work, worries, success do, at times, undermine love and intimacy. While Texas’ Reverend Young’s challenge seemed to assume that sexual intimacy diminishes with time and that marriage frequently diminishes sexual activity, his message seemed to be that frequency would help marital matters. Is more frequency the answer, more following God’s gifts or is it more about learning to love and making love the priority? I think more intriguing headlines would have had Reverend Young guiding and asking couples more from the daily sex challenge, such as…
• What if we practiced voicing loving, affectionate words and gestures with our spouse each day?
• What if we could act and respond by living by “Love is always the answer”?
• What if we dedicated time and resources to love and romance – rather than just to sex.
• What if we all explored other ways of loving – i.e. tango, tantric or tantalizing talks?
• What if we learned daily intimate devotion?
I think this sex challenge could and should be actually directed more towards challenging America’s acculturation to sexuality than it is about just having sex more frequently…we need more inspiration and guidance than just try it for a week and see how it goes and where it leads.

Comments on: The Sex Challenge

By: The Love Goddess

By: Winsomewaves