Q: I’m divorced, dating a nice guy, and totally freaked. (I dated one man in my life: my husband!) My heart is willing but my body isn’t. Help! –Dry Girl
A: Dear Dry Girl,
If what you say about the heart being willing is true, you gotta get moist again, and fast. You didn’t state your age, but if you’re premenopausal, vaginal moisturizers are helpful–there are rows of them (like Replens, for instance) in drugstores and health food stores. In addition, use a pure cream or oil (coconut oil is wonderful and natural, Astrogel is designed for the purpose) in your sexual play, to insure sufficient lubrication. If you’re postmenopausal, you have to go on a regimen beginning right now!
Ideally, start ten or eleven days before having sex. Have your doctor give you a hormone cream (like Premarin or Estrace creams) as well as a tablet called Vagifem. Use the cream at least three nights a week for two weeks, and Vagifem on alternate nights. One well-known New York gynecologist suggests using the cream and the tablets nightly for eleven days, to moisturize and nourish vaginal tissue.
Once you are having sex regularly again, adjust your regimen so that you use the cream twice a week and Vagifem once a week. I suggest you also drink a lot of water, take flaxseed oil internally, and drink cranberry juice–not because these affect the vaginal tissue directly, but will aid in the overall hydration and lubrication of your entire system. One more thing: Make sure, after having vigorous sex the first time in a long time, to urinate immediately afterward, and to drink at least 16 ounces of water. This will protect your urinary tract, and prevent an infection that could quickly ruin your good time.